by Libby DuPont
It’s back to school season, so we’re busy getting kids acclimated to new routines. But let’s face it: isn’t every season busy? It’s easy to trick ourselves into thinking that we will spend quality time with our spouse once things slow down. But, when exactly will that be? The truth is, that great majority of our marriages will be spent in the day-to-day stressors, the ordinary business of life. If we aren’t intentional about making time for one another now while things are busy, we will be strangers by the time they “settle down.”
This is not meant to add to our already-too-long to-do list, or to make ourselves feel guilty about dropping the ball on another thing. Spending time with our spouses is as important as eating, sleeping and showering. Just because we don’t always get the amount or quality of these things doesn’t mean we give up on them entirely! Here’s a few ideas for connecting in the midst of the craziness:
- Once a week, choose an errand to run together. This provides time to chat and lets the person who normally doesn’t do that task a window into the other spouse’s reality.
- Do a chore together. Similar to the last suggestion, this provides an opportunity to turn cleaning, yard work or folding laundry into a chance to spend time together.
- Get up or go to bed at the same time. Then, add 10-15 minutes of snuggling, sharing feelings and/or prayer to that routine. Since you do these every day, it’s an easy way to form a habit of connection.
- Create a “Welcome Home” ritual. Even 5-10 minutes of undivided attention at the end of a long workday can do wonders!
- Share a book or podcast. Even if you can’t listen or read at the same time, taking in the same story or information can be great material for discussion later when you do have time, and will turn your thoughts toward your spouse throughout the day.
- Embrace the “micro-date”. Not every date needs to be a romantic weekend away! Go for a walk around the block while the kids clean up dinner. Grab take-out and enjoy it on a blanket at the park during a kid’s practice. Grab flowers for her and spend 2 minutes affirming her beauty. Rub his shoulders while you nag the children to finish eating dinner. Hold hands in the parking lot.
- Put each other on the schedule. We schedule what’s important: doctor appointments, mortgage payments, oil changes– and our marriages are far more precious! Decide together how often you want spend dedicated time together and put it on the calendar. If you can manage the childcare, try for an annual weekend retreat and monthly date night (at home or out). Then don’t feel guilty for sticking to your plan!
Ultimately, we want the time we spend together to be the fuel that keeps us going on our most stressful days. So let’s get to it!
Ready to book some intentional time with your love? Find a Weekend Immersion or Skills Course near you!
