by Libby DuPont
We were sitting at the table eating breakfast on one of the first Spring days warm enough to have the windows open, enjoying the chorus of birds in our yard. I was reflecting on how much joy it brings me to hear that sound of new life after the long, silent winter, when it occurred to me: Why don’t I ever notice when the birds leave?
We had the same experience several years ago in our marriage at our first Weekend Immersion. When we left on Sunday afternoon, it felt like the birds were singing, the warm breeze was blowing and our marriage was alive with new possibilities. We had been married 8 years at that point, and by no means was our marriage in trouble. Still, there was a spring in our step and a lightness of heart that we had on our wedding day, that had somehow gotten lost along the way. The scary part is that, like the birds, we didn’t notice it was gone until it reappeared.
This is part of what’s behind the name EverMore in Love.
Relationship is dynamic. If we’re not growing closer, we’re growing further apart. And honestly, if we are slowly drifting apart, we often don’t notice until there are serious hurts between us. So why not focus our efforts on trying to be intentional about growing closer? What if we measured the success of any given day, week or year with the answer to a simple question: Am I more in love with my spouse now than I was then? Am I more attentive and generous? Do I understand more about his/her interior self? Have I affirmed him/her more? Are we more playful, more flirtatious, more appreciative?
The best thing about marriage in the Catholic Church is that it’s a sacrament. With sacraments, there’s never just more, but ever more! We would be horrified if we went to Reconciliation and were told there was a shortage of grace, so we needed to pick just one or two sins to be forgiven. Or, imagine getting to the front of the Communion line and being told that the guy in front of you used up the last of the graces. Ridiculous! Yet, when we settle for “just getting along” with our spouse, we are selling short the graces of the Sacrament of Matrimony in the same way.
That we have been entrusted with a sacrament is an astonishing gift, one that we rightfully respond to with wonder. Since we are married not to an idea, but an actual person, this wonder is rightly directed toward someone, toward our spouse! And what is “wonder” but going beyond love to being “in love”?
Just as we approach God for ever more patience, or humility or generosity in general, we can go to him and ask to be ever more in love with our spouse. That’s what we’re about around here. We hope you will join us in this noble pursuit!
Brad and Libby DuPont have been married since 2003 and live in Overland Park, KS with their son and daughter. They have been involved in national leadership for EverMore in Love for several years, and Libby currently serves as Director. They are grateful for strong coffee, decent wine and the fact that they both found someone who laughs at their jokes (usually).
