by Libby DuPont
I have often heard husbands or wives, married a few years, lament that they just don’t have the same relationship with Jesus they were able to have as a young single. This is true. A young, single person may have had hours free to spend at Adoration or daily Mass, the married person now may have a demanding work schedule, meals to cook and kids who don’t sleep. But luckily, Jesus doesn’t want the same kind of relationship we used to have as single people! He wants to meet us right where we are, and He wants to use our joyful, passionate marriage to bring us closer into relationship with Him.
As a result, we need to approach everything in our spiritual lives through the lens of our vocation. This means that our Lent may look different than it did when we were single, but that’s good! Let yourself off the hook for endless hours of prayer and harsh fasting if those things no longer suit your state of life. Instead, here’s some ideas on living Lent as a husband or wife.
Prayer
– If you’ve never prayed together before, try it! A simple, memorized prayer or blessing before bed is a good place to start.
– Meet up for a daily Mass, Stations of the Cross or time of Adoration during the week.
– Set your phone alarms to remind you to pray that God would show you what your spouse most needs.
Fasting
– Plan a date night where you do all your spouse’s favorite things (the ones that aren’t yours!)
– Give up a treat and spend that money on your spouse.
– Let your spouse have control of the remote, the radio station or the menu… whatever he/she normally does not get to pick.
Almsgiving
– Learn your spouse’s preferred means of receiving love and then do it like it’s your job! (Things like affirmation, affection, listening, small, thoughtful gifts, time spent together.)
– Perform some service for others TOGETHER. The witness of your love is a double blessing.
Brad and Libby DuPont work for the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas, and are the directors of EverMore in Love. They have been married for 17 years, and live in Overland Park, KS. They love a good cup of coffee, a decent glass of wine and the occasional living room dance party.
