Valentine Smarter, Not Harder!

by Theresa Callahan

Valentine’s Day is a great time to celebrate and show your love for your spouse, but for many of us it can be overwhelming to come up with ideas. If you still aren’t sure what to get your spouse for Valentine’s Day, Here’s some ideas based on Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. Within these 5 languages there are infinite ways to express that emotional language, so not all of these will resonate with your spouse. But if you know your spouse’s primary Love Language, these ideas can help you come up with a personalized, thoughtful gift for your spouse.

Words of Affirmation

• A thoughtful love letter on special stationary.
• A romantic, personal poem or song.
• A book or slideshow of your favorite things about your spouse.
• Index cards listing all of his/her talents and things he/she has accomplished (personal or within your marriage).
• A video describing all the ways he/she succeeds in your marriage/family and all the ways you are grateful for your spouse.
• Place a whiteboard in your bedroom and write down a different affirmation each day so your spouse can see how appreciative you are.

Quality Time

• Get a babysitter and go out to dinner at a restaurant free from distraction. Talk about your hopes and dreams for the year.
• Order takeout from a favorite restaurant once the kids are in bed. Enjoy your special meal reminiscing about the early days of your relationship.
• Have a fancy cocktail hour and flip through photos from your favorite trips together.
• Take a walk or have a picnic and talk about your marriage. Ask how your spouse is feeling, what you can do better, and what works well in your relationship.
• Make your favorite snacks and watch a favorite movie or show together.
• Schedule a romantic weekend away, and don’t talk about the kids or family concerns the whole time.

Acts of Service

• Complete a project meaningful to your spouse, like creating photo books or organizing the garage.
• Make a coupon book of different chores/tasks your spouse normally does that you will do instead this month.
• Make his/her favorite dinner and dessert and set the table nicely.
• Let your spouse have free time either out of the home or uninterrupted at home. Keep away any distractions and hold down the fort.
• Make breakfast in bed, and do the dishes before your spouse comes downstairs.
• Hire someone to clean the house or do the yard work that week.

Physical Touch

• Going for a couples massage, or sending your spouse for a message or mani/pedi.
• Giving your spouse a massage with his/her favorite lotion
• Intentionally holding hands and rubbing your spouse’s back throughout the day.
• Buy a tactile gift, like fuzzy slippers, silk pajamas, or a cozy sweater.
• Dance in the living room or hold your spouse in your arms as you chat.
• Reserve time for skin-on-skin before or after love-making.

Gift Giving

• Something your spouse pointed out in a commercial, magazine, or saved on Pinterest.
• A special edition of his/her favorite book.
• Meaningful jewelry or a watch.
• Food, alcohol, or art from a place with special meaning, like your honeymoon or where you lived when you were first married.
• Something your spouse has always admired but would not spend the money on.
• A homemade gift with a special meaning, like personalized art.

The Love Languages are awesome, but as spouses we also want to go deeper, and convince our spouse that we are in love with him or her. Check out our 7-Day Real Connection Challenge to learn more!

Tom and Theresa have been married since 2015. They have been mentors to the engaged with EverMore in Love since 2017. Tom works as an actuary and Theresa works as a caretaker. They live in Philadelphia.